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Sunday, May 20, 2012

After the surgery - more perspective to gain


Good news this week!  My hemoglobin counts are high enough that I don’t need a blood transfusion.  It’s breaking my every two week schedule – yay!  As I go through the next week I’ll just keep an eye out for symptoms that make me think they’re too low and go back in for more labs.  Time to celebrate now though!  Okay truth is I’ve been forgetting that.

I was reminded yesterday that while I wait to see if the nerve pain is going to get better, the vertrebroplasty (filling the L3 space with a “cement”) was accomplished and my L3 vertebrae should be strong – stronger than prior to the procedure/surgery and should not be in so much danger of causing problems down the line.  Prior to this I was in danger of fully fracturing my back in that area  and losing control of my bowel and bladder. 

Pain control is still an issue in my left hip and back.  I still use the walker to get around the house and getting up from sitting is becoming a little bit more of a challenge.  I do best from seats that are higher or where I can use my arms to help propel me up. 

Really, I guess, I’ve been focusing too much on the pain still being the same and the fear that decompression of the nerve hasn’t happened - and wondering if it ever will.   

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How should we be able to forget those ancient myths that are at the beginning of all peoples,
the myths about dragons that at the last moment turn into princesses; perhaps all the dragons
of our lives are princesses, who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave.
Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us.
So you must not be frightened, dear Mr. Kappus, if a sadness rises up before you larger than
any you have ever seen; if a restiveness, like light and cloud-shadows, passes over your hands
and over all you do. You must think that something is happening with you, that life
has not forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand; it will not let you fall. . . .




 





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