Good news
this week! My hemoglobin counts are high
enough that I don’t need a blood transfusion.
It’s breaking my every two week schedule – yay! As I go through the next week I’ll just keep
an eye out for symptoms that make me think they’re too low and go back in for
more labs. Time to celebrate now though! Okay truth is I’ve been forgetting that.
I was
reminded yesterday that while I wait to see if the nerve pain is going to get
better, the vertrebroplasty (filling the L3 space with a “cement”) was
accomplished and my L3 vertebrae should be strong – stronger than prior to the
procedure/surgery and should not be in so much danger of causing problems down
the line. Prior to this I was in danger
of fully fracturing my back in that area and losing control of my bowel and bladder.
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Pain control
is still an issue in my left hip and back.
I still use the walker to get around the house and getting up from
sitting is becoming a little bit more of a challenge. I do best from seats that are higher or where
I can use my arms to help propel me up.
Really, I
guess, I’ve been focusing too much on the pain still being the same and the
fear that decompression of the nerve hasn’t happened - and wondering if it ever
will.
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How should we be able to forget those ancient
myths that are at the beginning of all peoples,
the myths about dragons that at the last moment turn into princesses; perhaps all the dragons
of our lives are princesses, who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave.
Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us.
So you must not be frightened, dear Mr. Kappus, if a sadness rises up before you larger than
any you have ever seen; if a restiveness, like light and cloud-shadows, passes over your hands
and over all you do. You must think that something is happening with you, that life
has not forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand; it will not let you fall. . . .
the myths about dragons that at the last moment turn into princesses; perhaps all the dragons
of our lives are princesses, who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave.
Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us.
So you must not be frightened, dear Mr. Kappus, if a sadness rises up before you larger than
any you have ever seen; if a restiveness, like light and cloud-shadows, passes over your hands
and over all you do. You must think that something is happening with you, that life
has not forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand; it will not let you fall. . . .
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